I don't thing this is fake though...

Happy day after Thanksgiving. I bet you're reading this while still stuffed from yesterday, splayed out on the couch, barely able to summon up the energy to tap the down button on your computer. Did we nail it?

Speaking of nailing it, check out this "fake" MTA twitter site that details all the going-ons of our favorite transportation system.

P.S. In the interest of full disclosure, this post was written days ago. We too predict we will be lazy as f*ck and unable to come up with something clever so we're setting this up in advance. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Boy are we thankful

Zelda the turkey chillaxin' in Battery Park. Photo courtesy of nydailynews.com

What are we thankful for? Let's take a look down Memory Lane...

Our favorite Chinatown delight: turtles

Our favorite bar, featuring super cheap top shelf scotch: Blue & Gold

Our favorite place for an over-priced cocktail: The Box

Our new favorite cigar lounge

Our favorite New York City based TV shows: 30 Rock, NYC Prep and Gossip Girl

Our Jewish brethren and sisteren

Our favorite bagel place, La Bagel Delight, without whom our office would starve

Our favorite dessert to wash down our bagels: cannolis at Veniero's and cupcakes from Magnolia Cupcakes

Our favorite Sunday afternoon activity: The Met

Our favorite after work activity: bocce at Union Hall

and of course, the freak at Coney Island

We're also thankful for you, dear reader, and continue to court guest posts. E-mail us if you want to blog or have a hot tip for us!

NYiR has found its cigar lounge

A man and his cigar lounge is a special relationship, particularly in New York City where you can no longer smoke indoors at most establishments. The mere existence of a cigar lounge thus harkens back to the days of yore when a man can slip on a suit, light up a cigar, and enjoy a scotch in the company of some good jazz.

Unfortunately most cigar lounges in New York City cater to finance douches (there, we said it). Many are based in midtown and descriptions accurately point out that they feel like an "Ivy League alumni club" for the "pinstripe-and-cuff-link variety." Not so at Velvet Cigars, the cigar lounge that New York is Ridiculous now officially endorses. While no dive it is a relaxed lounge where one can enjoy a smoke without feeling pretentious.

First things first: it's not huge. It's tiny actually. And the selection is also tiny. And they don't have alcohol.

So, you may wonder, why would we ever like it? Because of all those things. The size is just big enough for a dozen or fifteen people. It's not the sort of place that is packed so in other words it's not crowded, it's intimate. It's impossible to hang out there for a few hours without naturally meeting another patron who is enjoying a smoke and striking up a conversation.

The cigars are all excellent and are named after different parts of the East Village. I enjoyed an Astor the other day at the great rate of $6 per corona.

As for the alcohol they are a BYO place so we enjoyed good scotch by the bottle while smoking and hanging out. The service was excellent as well.

Velvet Cigars also gets bonus points for being directly across the street from NYiR's favorite bar: Blue & Gold. Velvet Cigars is located at 80 E. 7th between 1st and 2nd Ave. We'll see you there.

Win the lotto, get a neck ache

Starting with Rent, many Broadway shows have taken to offering discount tickets through a student rush, lottery, or will offer some standing room only option (for a full list of shows that feature these options click here).

While it's all nice and good to plan to see a Broadway show most cost upwards of $100 per ticket. Hence the real excitement for many New Yorkers is trying to win the $25 lottery seats. You show up a bit early to the show, fill out a form with your name and how many tickets you want. Then, at the end of a half hour or so, they pull out however many names they have tickets for. The anticipation to see if you win a seat is about 359485 times more exciting than anything you might see on Broadway these days.

We were the first names picked (LUCKY) for Next to Normal which receives three out of four NYiR Landmarks (new rating system). The funny thing is that after winning magical tickets we got the first and supposedly best seats left, right in the front row. The picture above was taken from these seats and I bet you crane your neck just to look at it.

I hear this is pretty typical for Student Rush and lottery. Cons: neck ache. Pros: the amount of actor spit you get to take home as a souvenir. Plus the rush that comes with wondering if something might fall off the stage and into your lap. Like an actor.

Toys 'R Us: Where a 27 year old can be a kid

I know, NYiR fans, that Statue of Liberty didn't used to have a screen behind it. But guess what? IT'S NOT REAL! IT'S MADE OF LEGOS! Yeah, isn't that a mind freak. But there you go, welcome to the Toys 'R Us in Times Square.

Ok, it's not all LEGOs, although you have to admit the Apollo theater next to the Flatiron is pretty awesome. Wander into this fabulous land and you'll realize that A) it's not just for kids and B) toys are SO much cooler than when you were a young 'in. I highly recommend the ferris wheel:Yeah, that's Superman in the background. We're like, BFFs now. I totally helped him catch that truck. It's a good thing too considering it was merely minutes later when my girlfriend was attacked by this dinosaur in the Jurassic Park area:
It came to life and roared and moved around and it was awesome. The only not awesome part of the whole thing? This douchebag who, just because he's on all the logos, thinks he owns the place:
Geez, Geoffrey the Giraffe, were you too busy to attend the personal space seminar during employee orientation? Or is it that you're too cool for skool because your face is on all the merchandise? Somebody call security, this giraffe is a creep!

The Times Square Toys 'R Us also features a Candy Land and a booth that you can take a picture and have them photoshop you into your own puzzle. All very worth the trip and the crowds, so long as you don't have to share an elevator with that giraffe. He'd probably push his own button, look straight at you without asking to push your's, then immediately get on his cell phone to Mickey Mouse about something stupid he did at a party last night. No one cares how SHWASTED you were. Dumb giraffe.

Times Square Week

Times Square: the center of the universe. This week we'll explore many facets of this remarkable area of New York City. One thing that makes it ridiculous is that no New Yorker ever wants to go there. It's a tourist mecca that has been over-run by some really amazing in-your-face folks (even more so than the YOGs and YOBs of Park Slope!). For example:

The comedy club guy
For some reason these guys are everywhere in Times Square asking you if you like to laugh, waving brochures in your face, and trying to be funny. My favorite is this one guys who just goes, "HAHAHA. HAHAHA. COMEDY CLUB." Simple, to the point, I like it. I'd see his act.

A few years ago my girlfriend was accosted by one of these people. When he asked her, "Do you like to laugh?" she tried to avoid him. He went all Michael Richards and was like, "No I don't think you DO like to laugh. You probably just like to sit at home in the dark and watch sad movies and cry." I'd see his act too.

The tour bus guy
No I don't want to see where Miranda and Carrie had drinks during the Sex and the City movie.

The demo guy
This is the one guy I usually find charming. He'll start off with a "you like hip-hop?" and when you even remotely look at him he gives you his demo for $5. Usually in that order where the demo is in your hand before you even know you're buying it. This can be annoying but some of these CDs are real gems.

When I was still a teenager I came across "Lucky" Logan P. McCoy who sold me on his CD which featured such songs as "I've got a crush!" and "I like you." Those were some hardcore jams about respecting women and handing out CDs on the streets. Thank you Lucky Logan for introducing me to hip-hop.

I was gone but now I'm back

Dear Fan (singular),

So sorry I was gone this week but I had to cover all of the ridiculous things in Halifax, Nova Scotia (Canada you idjit). After hours of in-depth research I found the best and most important news article this week from Halifax and have displayed it above. No joke, this gem is from the front page of the local paper. You're welcome and I promise there will be lots and lots of New York City ridiculous things posted this week.

Yours,

Lodro

Just don't call me a doodle dandy. Because I don't know what that is

Ok so we're not big sports fans here at New York is Ridiculous but it's hard to ignore the 4293457328097 people who are, or at least are when the Yankees win the World Series. Because they line the streets like whoa.

From Yahoo:
Commerce has pretty much shut down in Lower Manhattan today. Hundreds of thousands of members of the work force are showering ticker tape and toilet paper from their high-rise office windows all over the Yankees as the World Series champions and their families inch up Broadway from the U.S. Customs House on Battery Place to City Hall Park.

That's right! Let's throw toilet paper at people. But in a good way. Because we don't remember anything about all that juicing stuff that was in the news right? Honestly, some of us here at NYiR own juicers and can attest that homemade juices are delicious. I'm not sure why people are normally so down on the Yankees for that sort of thing but we're glad they're showing some love today. We love you Yanks!

For live coverage of the Yankee Parade click here.

photo courtesy of Ruby Washington for The New York Times

Who Shot Rock and Roll? Probs these kids

We must make a sudden departure from our The Met is Ridiculous series due to the really neato exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. New York is Ridiculous attended the opening primarily to hear their surprise act, BLONDIE (I know, right? Yes, yes, they still rock even though they're in their fifties). The real surprise of the night was just how good the photo exhibit was. From their website:

The exhibition is in six sections: rare and revealing images taken behind the scenes; tender snapshots of young musicians at the beginnings of their careers; exhilarating photographs of live performances that display the energy, passion, style, and sex appeal of the band on stage; powerful images of the crowds and fans that are often evocative of historic paintings; portraits revealing the soul and creativity, rather than the surface and celebrity, of the musicians; and conceptual images and album covers highlighting the collaborative efforts between the image makers and the musicians.

The magic comes from just how intimate these photographers were with their subjects. You can see Kurt Cobain in tears slumped backstage after a particularly emotional set, Jay Z and P. Diddy texting side by side, or Buddy Holly just spacing out on his bus after a show. You really ought to go see this show. The suggested contribution is $10 (take THAT Met).

NYiR recommends you go to Rock Out on November 7th. On the early side there's some indie rock groups from the 'hood, a meet and greet with the curator, a showing of Purple Rain and then after 9 pm DJ Evil Dee will spin a bunch of the artists who's photos are being shown including Michael Jackson, Jimi Hendrix, James Brown, Chuck Berry, and Jay-Z.

photo by Barry Feinstein (American, born 1931). Bob Dylan with Kids, Liverpool, England, 1966 (printed 2009). Gelatin silver print. Courtesy Barry Feinstein

A special message for everyone who attended the Golden Age Halloween Party last Saturday

OMG! You remember when that girl did that thing? And her costume was all "Uh oh!" and then the DJ put on that awesome song and everyone did that dance while that guy was all like "Whoooaaa" and those two people dressed as Calvin and Hobbes were doing body shots while making out with that crew dressed as the entire cast of Cheers and they were like, "Say whaat?" and then everything collided and form an explosion of awesome? Yeah. That was cool.

Thanks for coming.