Weekend Bulletin!

Ok folks. Here's what's up this weekend:

Tonight go to Ellis Bar at 627 5th Ave in BeeKay (Brooklyn) for their 1 cent beers. Yes. 1 penny. I bet you wish you were stingier with the local homeless now huh? Well don't be Scrooge because it only lasts from 9-9:30 and then 11-11:30. Go for the beer, stay for the karaoke.

Made a new year resolution to bring out the inner child in you? Really? You did? Oh. I woulda said, "Clean up around the house more" but whatevs. Anyway, head to the corner of Broad St and Wall St Saturday at 2 pm for a chaos-inducing game of freeze tag.

Then head over to the Gershwin Theater for Michael Alan's Draw-a-thon (the pic from above gives you some insight into what you're drawing). Having hosted these for four years now Michael Alan has decided to kick off 2010 with an "Artistic Revolution" based on the French Revolution where artists such as yourself (come'on you can draw!) show up to sketch models posing as the Virgin, the Aristocrat-Prostitute, the Bather, the Absinthe-Poisoned Mask Maker, the Drunken Rebel-Rouser, the Raffle Girl, and the Nude Visionary. You had me at model. Then lost me at Virgin. Then had me at Prostitute and Nude.

Then on Sunday go ride the subway without any pants. What a perfect weekend!

I see London, I see France, I see NYC's underpants

Ah. Once in a blue moon we get a hot tip on something that reminds us just how ridiculous New York can be. Remember how we told you that it's perfectly legal to be topless in NYC? Well now it's time to go bottomless. This Sunday you are invited to participate in Improv Everywhere's 9th annual No Pants! Subway Ride. Check the video above, go buy some new undies, and we'll see you on the train.

Weekend Snapshots

If you were anywhere in New York City on Saturday you know that Santa Con was a rousing success. Starting in five locations and converging at different times throughout the city Santas ran amok being lost, calling their ex-girlfriends while drunk, and getting "mad munchies yo" when they drank/smoke too much. Basically all the things the real Santa does.

Then on Sunday you may have been one of the lucky few to catch this random F train. Yes, this is a real-live subway running the tracks of New York City. It first went on the rails in 1931. It has temporarily (?) come out of retirement to take you back to a simpler time when after shave adds included words like "romance" and not random big-busted blonde girls falling into guy's armpits because of their scent (what? we only tried Axe once, we can make fun).

There are gaps in between the cars so you can see the mole people of the tunnels too. Riding this baby feels like a cross between the Tower of Terror ride at Disney and sitting in a movable museum. If you see a green train hop on it.

I don't thing this is fake though...

Happy day after Thanksgiving. I bet you're reading this while still stuffed from yesterday, splayed out on the couch, barely able to summon up the energy to tap the down button on your computer. Did we nail it?

Speaking of nailing it, check out this "fake" MTA twitter site that details all the going-ons of our favorite transportation system.

P.S. In the interest of full disclosure, this post was written days ago. We too predict we will be lazy as f*ck and unable to come up with something clever so we're setting this up in advance. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

You like other New York fan blogs better? That's a deal breaker

Deal Breaker - watch more funny videos

First thing's first: 30 Rock is funny and based in New York City. Which means we love it.

The "deal breaker" clip featured above was a big thing last season and sparked a new fun site dealbreaker.tumblr.com which spawned this little gem about getting your penis grabbed while riding the subway. Check it.

Also, whatcha think of the new background and colors? Really brightens up your day doesn't it?

Weekend Snapshot leads to next G &S Award

Spotted rolling through traffic on W. 23rd and 6th Ave at 4:00 pm on a Sunday. Ladies and gentlemen, there was no rhyme, no reason for this occurrence. They were not advertising something. They did not ask for money. They wanted nothing other than to ride that bike and dance on that pole.
This dynamic duo embodies the ridiculous spirit of New York City. As such NYiR is proud to make this anonymous duo the second recipients of our Gentleman and Socialite Award. Congratulations!

If anyone knows who these people are please forward this to them - we want to give them our G&S trophy. And book them for our Halloween bash.

Joe Pera: the first recipient of the G&S award

Spotted in the Union Square subway stop: Joe Pera, hero amongst men. Not only is this the first of many subway artists to be featured on this blog but Joe will also go down in New York fanblogging history as the first ever recipient of the Gentleman & Socialite award. Yeah, this blog does awards now. And yeah, I'm sorry Spaghetti Cat but this time it's going to Joe.

Who is this incredible individual? Well let's take a closer look seeing how I know your eyes are all bad and stuff.

Seems relatively straight-forward I know. But Joe has the noble spirit of Alexander Hamilton and the comedic timing of Michael Cera. Sounds delightful doesn't it? Sorry, don't click that one if you're short on time. Click this one and see for yourself why Joe deserves this dubious honor. And if you only have 20 more seconds to live just skip ahead 1 min 20 secs into that video.

So Joe, I'm sure you're busy with the whole standing-by-the-L-train-showing-off-the-"It's true I'm wealthy"-book-cover-you-designed-with-your-face-on-it-to-pick-up-the-ladies-thing but if you ever want to come to a party and pick up your award it will be waiting for you.

Yes, 12 loyal readers of this blog, physical G&S awards will be produced and given out. Feel free to send in nominations. If you want to see Joe do his thing check out his upcoming performance.

Spaghetti Cat, I am so sorry I had to tell you about the award this way. I weep for you.

Japanese Tourists

I just came back from a two month stint in Japan. Yes they do many ridiculous things themselves but the thing that baffled me the most was the number of touristy photos they would go out of their way to take. I went to Disney Sea in Tokyo (awesome, thanks for asking) and the longest line was to take a photograph with Mickey Mouse. And let's face it, Mickey's a doucebag. And hangs out with douchebags.

I've done extensive statistical analysis* and apparently New York City is the number one tourist spot for Japanese citizens ages 2-death. I imagine this statistic takes into account that one-year-olds are prejudiced assholes worldwide, but that's another post for another time.

Think about going all the way to Disney Sea (still awesome, FYI) and the one thing you really want to do is get a shot with Mickey Mouse. Now think of how much bigger the Statue of Liberty is then Mickey. At least twice as big right? Maybe even three times. So the lines there are probably two, three times as long because of Japanese tourists taking photographs. I wouldn't know about that personally; I don't think self-respecting New Yorkers go there unless they have someone from Japan to go with.

I get the going to major tourist sites though. That's all fine and good. Plus I believe every out-of-towner should have a photo of the Statue of Liberty because if you don't acknowledge Ellis Island then you're not acknowledging how all of our last names got messed up and that's just bigoted. I mean, who are you? A one year old (I should probably post something about them soon)?

Here is the mind boggling thing: Japanese tourists will take a photo of anything. I don't know what they are trying to prove. Will your friends back home not believe you rode on a subway? That you ate a meal in a restaurant? That you stood next to a tree in a park? I guess they don't have those things in Japan. Oh wait, you sort of do only it's not as cool as our's.

I can't fault the couple pictured above though. Those ceramic hats are too damn inviting. The MTA should just tile "Take photos here" in Japanese and get it over with.


* I have never done nor know how to do statistical analysis. In fact I'm not sure I even know what that means.

People talking about the subway

The subway system in this city is amazing. You know how I know that? Because New Yorkers won't shut up about it. When you go to meet a friend at a bar the first question they will ask you is, "What subway did you take?" It doesn't matter if your grandmother was just run over by a reindeer they will ask about the subway. This is a relief because then you can have a great conversation all about whether it was the best way to go, which stop is closest to where, and other boring things that make you feel like you have something in common. Thank you MTA for giving match.com dates something to bond over.

photo from allposters.com