Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Look even my costume is disgusted with me!

Halloween in New York City is scary! Not because of the decorations or the haunted houses but because for one night only people think it's Mardi Gras. Check out the delightful costume pictured above from last year's Halloween parade.

The best part? YOU CAN BE HER THIS YEAR! That's right folks, click here to find out where you show up naked with owl boobs and jump in. This is perfect for everyone who has ever wanted to be in a parade but has done nothing with their life. Which is the entire NYiR staff. We should probably go.

J/k! We're gonna be at our awesome Halloween party. Are you gonna come? Yeah? Smart move. You should RSVP.

Monday, October 26, 2009

You like other New York fan blogs better? That's a deal breaker


First thing's first: 30 Rock is funny and based in New York City. Which means we love it.

The "deal breaker" clip featured above was a big thing last season and sparked a new fun site dealbreaker.tumblr.com which spawned this little gem about getting your penis grabbed while riding the subway. Check it.

Also, whatcha think of the new background and colors? Really brightens up your day doesn't it?

Friday, October 23, 2009

Marshmallow Civil War

It's exactly what it sounds like. This Saturday in DUMBO there will be a "reenactment...of questionable accuracy." Click here for more info.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Yeah, this is normal

A while back New York is Ridiculous posted a ground-breaking story about a flying fish subway art piece. To prove that the subway system is curated by one-year-olds I'd like to point out this totally normal scene that you would find any day on Christopher St.

Here we have a pimp with two Amish prostitutes (three if you count the pidgeon) and a brothel owner that specializes in trolls.

This mural is one of three featured at the Christopher St. subway stop entitled "The Greenwich Village murals." The artist, Lee Brozgol, led students at PS 41 in making this mural which apparently is about "Providers." So, in other words some androgynously named Lee thought it was a good idea to force kids to depict pimps lording over their peers and call it art. Thanks Lee Brozgol for teaching the kids of New York City that pimps can still bring home the bacon, so long as these kids keep selling themselves into their service.

To read a more biased yet official position on these murals click here.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Awesome Halloween costume swappage

Next Saturday Trophy Bar (look! so underground they have a blog instead of a website!) is hosting a Halloween costume swap. That's right folks, bring your inappropriate Steve Irwin costume and you can trade it in for an equally inappropriate Michael Jackson costume.

So head over to Trophy Bar to meet with their professional “costume consultants,” drink creepy-themed drinks, and shake your groove thang. As they so aptly put it, "why spend money on slutty cop outfits when you can spend it on alcohol instead? Hello, it’s a no-brainer. Mmmmmm BRAIIIINS."

For more info and to RSVP click here. I think you have to RSVP to make sure you'll get in. Not unlike that AWESOME HALLOWEEN PARTY WE'RE THROWING.

Friday, October 16, 2009

The Lighting District

When you tell someone you live in New York City there are two possible options:
1) They don't live in New York. In this case they say, "Oh, where abouts?" and you can say, "Brooklyn" and they will say "Ah! How quaint."
2) They live in New York. In this case they will say "Where?" and you will have to tell them the borough, neighborhood, street address, and notable restaurants that are nearby.

For example if you met someone new at a bar in Manhattan and they asked you where you lived you would say: Brooklyn. "Where abouts in Brooklyn?" Fort Greene. "Where in Fort Greene." N. Oxford. "Oh, you mean S. Oxford." No, no. N. Oxford. "What's that near?" An awesome Halloween party. Then, "Ah! How quaint. My sister lived in Fort Greene 20 years ago." Then you talk about that.

However, out of all of the many neighborhoods and sub-neighborhoods and streets and districts one can be deemed more ridiculous than all the others in New York: The Lighting District.

For those of you who are not from New York, this is not a red light district. No, this is a district devoted to lighting. Light bulbs, light fixtures, light switches, and those light paper lanterns that you see at Urban Outfitters.

It was formerly a chunk of Manhattan. Over time this whole internet shopping thing has caught on and that, matched with greedy developers trying to ruin quaint neighborhoods (see? I do it too) has led to a downturn in the lighting fixture industry's presence in the city. The lighting district is now only Bowery St. between Grand and Broome.

If you do live in New York City you may have stumbled across it as it's inches from all the bars and clubs of the Lower East Side. You may not have realized at all and, in your drunken stupor, thought the Lighthouse a nautical themed club. No, it sells chandeliers.

If you do happen to stumble across the lighting district please buy a light bulb in order to keep these places in business. Preserve historical/ridiculous New York! Or something.

BREAKING NEWS: Another ridiculous thing - a lady gave birth on the L train today. Click here for the story.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

NYiR is Mad for Chicken

Marina of Italian STD clinic Venerio's fame turned me on to Mad for Chicken's Murray Hill location. Formerly known as Bon-Chon this place is a secret jewel in the midst of NYC souvenir shops.

Look for 314 5th Avenue and you'll find what appears to be an apartment building. Walk to the back of the lobby and up a flight of stairs and you'll magically enter this darkly-lit Korean restaurant that serves the best fried chicken in the city. That's right, New York is Ridiculous has finally (finally!) weighed in on the best fried chicken and it exists at Mad for Chicken.

Marina and I split the soy garlic sauce chicken dinner, which was 16 pieces for $23. A bit pricey for wings but exquisite. We also got the 2-liter container of beer pictured above. Both appeared within minutes and were delicious. I have to admit I wasn't in a beer-drinking mood until I saw the aquarium-esque equipment that surrounded the experience. It's like drinking refreshing beer from a lava lamp.

Mad for Chicken is a great date place. If you're both beer-loving chicken-wing eating dudes (NYiR officially recognizes that men AND women can be dudes who love chicken and beer).

Monday, October 12, 2009

Weekend Snapshot leads to next G &S Award

Spotted rolling through traffic on W. 23rd and 6th Ave at 4:00 pm on a Sunday. Ladies and gentlemen, there was no rhyme, no reason for this occurrence. They were not advertising something. They did not ask for money. They wanted nothing other than to ride that bike and dance on that pole.
This dynamic duo embodies the ridiculous spirit of New York City. As such NYiR is proud to make this anonymous duo the second recipients of our Gentleman and Socialite Award. Congratulations!

If anyone knows who these people are please forward this to them - we want to give them our G&S trophy. And book them for our Halloween bash.

Friday, October 9, 2009

NYiR throws Golden Age Halloween Party

That's right! The big announcement alluded to yesterday is that we're throwing the best and biggest Halloween jam of all time ever.

When: October 31st 9:00 PM - 3:00 AM
Where: 15 N. Oxford (between Flushing and Park Ave) Fort Greene, Brooklyn 11205
What:
  • open bar all night long serving beer, wine, champagne, and vodka
  • large awesome decked out Halloween wonderland
  • 2 great DJs playing everything from hip hop to 80s + 90s jams and on and on
  • costume contest
  • photobooth
  • magic by Jeff Grow (check his video!)
  • great people and times
It's $25 if you pre-pay on the site below, $30 at the door. So bring your friends and partners and friends' partners and that cute guy with the lazy eye who you're sorta embarrassed about dating but figure he'll fit right in 'cause it's Halloween.

Bring 'em all but please RSVP because we wanna know that you're coming. Oh, and you have to be 21 or over of course there's a bar sillyhead.

Check the invite video below:
video
For more info on the Golden Age Halloween Party or to buy your tickets click here. All RSVPs should go to GoldenAgeParty@gmail.com. We look forward to seeing you there!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

This YOB has a big announcement...

...he's gonna be a real boy soon! Devoted readers will recall our write up of Young Orthodox Girls (YOGs). Here we have a real live Young Orthodox Boy! I was on my phone when he asked me if I was Jewish (he was asking everyone. he's more desperate than a YOG) and when I replied with an affirming nod he began talking my ear off. The conversation went something like this:

Lodro leaving a voice message: Hey, I was just wondering what you're up to tonight...
YOB: Wanna do a prayer with me?
Lodro: ...I'm on my way to the gym and...
YOB: Hey! It only takes ten seconds!
Lodro: ...I think after I'll be pretty hungry so I was thinking...
YOB: I'm gonna walk with you. Then when you're done we can do it together!
Lodro: ...that maybe we could do Chinese, or Japanese, or something...
YOB now climbing on my back and hitting me with the lulav: I can't wait to get you more Jewish!

That's basically how it went. I left a long voicemail, he had the attention span of a 12 1/2 year old boy, and then he found a SloBitch to harrass instead (pictured above mistaking the lulav for corn and asking if it's organic/from the Park Slope Coop).

Anyway, the real boy comment is not the actual announcement. The real announcement from NYiR will be released tomorrow. It's big. Real big. So lose sleep wondering over it ok? Thanks!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Out of the Frying Pan and into the water

I know many New York is Ridiculous fans wonder where we keep our super secret office. Well, we won't tell you. But we do have all of our official staff meetings at the Frying Pan (as pictured above). Located at W 26th St & the West Side Highway it's a bar...but on a BOAT! Yes, T-Pain is all about that isht. BTdubs have you seen this new I am T-Pain iPhone app? That is ridiculous too.

I digress. We meet ON A BOAT! I got flippy floppies something something you're straight up making copies. That's what life is like on the Frying Pan now. Beers, burgers, lots of seating, motion sickness, more beer, and some dancing on the early side of the night. It wasn't always a place to party though. It used to be an active lightship. You can even read testimonials (whatever happened to friendster?) about what it was like back in the Great Depression. Check out this pic from a major crash that occurred in 1935:
It doesn't look like that now. Now it's in color. So check out the Frying Pan the next time you want to sit out on the water, split a bucket of beer with some friends, and have a good time. We'll see you there.

P.S. How good is Meatloaf's Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire?

Monday, October 5, 2009

La Bagel Delight...because using the masculine "el" would be incorrect spanish

Let's forget for a moment that there is absolutely no reason for the "la" on the title of this place to exist and focus on how wonderful the bagels are. I'm not going to say they're the best bagels in New York City (for fear of bagel snobs stoning me with three-day old sesames) but they are certainly awesome. There's five locations (122 Seventh Avenue,284 Seventh Avenue, 90 Court Street, 104 Front Street and 73 Lafayette Avenue). That's right observant fans, two of those La Bagel Delights are on my street. I go to both. They are both awesome.

While the bagels are all fine and good it's the employees that make this place a favorite spot. You walk up to pay and the cashier goes, "Want my cat?" And someone from across the store will run over and say, "You don't want her cat, man; it's ugly. It's an ugly cat." Then each employee will come out of some hiding spot to weigh in about whether or not you should adopt this woman's cat while you quietly chuckle with your five dollar bill held out as if asking for mercy.

Friday, October 2, 2009

DUMBO is DUMB


Are you crying right now? I am. Poor Dumbo. No one could ruin the heart-break and charm of this classic Disney movie. Except New York City realtors.

Yes those devil-worshiping leeches were trying to gentrify a perfectly good neighborhood known as Fulton Landing for a long long time and in 1978 New Yorkers caught on. In an effort to deter developers they started referring to their neighborhood as Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass (D.U.M.B.O.). So there developers and real estate agents! Try to sell this neighborhood to anyone but bridge trolls!

Wait, what's that? You aren't deterred at all? And you made the neighborhood look like a mini financial district? Because bridge trolls run Wall St? Drats.

Apparently Jerry Seinfeld has said that the real name of the 'hood is "Down Under Manhattan Bridge" but that the locals added the "O" so that they wouldn't be living in "DUMB." Well I'm sorry Fulton Landing residents, it is dumb. I'm gonna go start a petition to get you your old name back. Not because of you, but because it's what Dumbo would have wanted.
It's because of stuff like this that Peter Pan left New York City.
 

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