This guy

Thanks to Oliver for this hot tip. On Gansevoort St between Greenwich and Little W 12th Sts you may find Nathan Stodola doing, well, the above. For more information about this gent check out the Time Out NY interview.

Dick Chicken emerges...on Playboy

Guess who contacted us yesterday? Did you guess Playboy? I thought you would. Now did you guess that they want me to pose for them? No? Why not? That's a bit insulting. I guess they only ask women to pose. It's okay then. We're okay.

Remember when we told you all about Dick Chicken? Well Playboy has just released the first-ever appearance of this graffiti genius on film so you, dear NYiR readers, can be the first to see him. Check out the video above. You're welcome and if you need us, we'll be chilling by the pool at the mansion with our new bunny friends.

Moishe's self storage: because you just don't have a closet

New York City is the easiest city to navigate; it's so well laid out. It's like our founding fathers knew that someday you would be drunk on W. 23rd and 7th Ave and would have no clue what to do when you had to meet someone who was also drunk and kept yelling, "I'm 6 blocks south! 6 BLOCKS SOUTH!"

However, they were founding fathers. And, as men, they did not have a lot of clothes. They weren't big shoppers. So they didn't need a lot of closet space. Flash forward to present day New York living situations and you are hard pressed to find an apartment that has more than a hall closet. FOR REAL out of towners, this is a fact. No closets in all of NYC.

That means that more and more people are turning to Moishe and his competitors to store their junk in Queens, the Bronx, and even that mythical land of Long Island. I myself just let boxes accumulate around the house but it's my understanding from the 3594372530948 subway ads that every New Yorker except for me looooves storing their belongings far away from home at the low monthly rate of $29/month.

Then again, the only time I've seen the inside of one of these NYC-based storage facilities was on T.V. and that was only when the hero discovers a body. So maybe Moishe is secretly storing bodies for all of New York. I'll just keep mine on the mantle and save myself some money, thanks M.

This YOB has a big announcement...

...he's gonna be a real boy soon! Devoted readers will recall our write up of Young Orthodox Girls (YOGs). Here we have a real live Young Orthodox Boy! I was on my phone when he asked me if I was Jewish (he was asking everyone. he's more desperate than a YOG) and when I replied with an affirming nod he began talking my ear off. The conversation went something like this:

Lodro leaving a voice message: Hey, I was just wondering what you're up to tonight...
YOB: Wanna do a prayer with me?
Lodro: ...I'm on my way to the gym and...
YOB: Hey! It only takes ten seconds!
Lodro: ...I think after I'll be pretty hungry so I was thinking...
YOB: I'm gonna walk with you. Then when you're done we can do it together!
Lodro: ...that maybe we could do Chinese, or Japanese, or something...
YOB now climbing on my back and hitting me with the lulav: I can't wait to get you more Jewish!

That's basically how it went. I left a long voicemail, he had the attention span of a 12 1/2 year old boy, and then he found a SloBitch to harrass instead (pictured above mistaking the lulav for corn and asking if it's organic/from the Park Slope Coop).

Anyway, the real boy comment is not the actual announcement. The real announcement from NYiR will be released tomorrow. It's big. Real big. So lose sleep wondering over it ok? Thanks!

I don't ride a fish, I ride a subway. Get it right MTA.

How many times have you been on the subway enjoying your kindle (ha, kindles, why do you exist? go away) when you happen to look up and, instead of momentarily looking at those other people around you, you're forced to see this fish?

Then you look closer and you realize it's not a fish. It can't be. Because there's people riding in it. And it's in the sky. Then you look even closer and you see it's not even just people! Look at it. Look!
Those are aliens! Then there's the lizard with that woman who's wearing a sun hat INDOORS (what's with people wearing hats indoors these days?) and that knight in shining armor who isn't even going to help that dude falling out of the back of the flying fish because he's all wrapped up in the PDA going on.

I mean WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? Is this a commentary on illegal aliens? On people not helping people? On people making out with people? I know it's not a commentary on how the subway goes underground like a fish because for some reason it's FLYING. It's called "In Flight" for Christ's sake.

Chris Gall you perplex me. Consider yourself in the running for whatever the opposite of the Gentleman and Socialite award is. We'll call it the "Dumb One Year Old Kids Curate the MTA" award.

This guy

This guy...he was in Union Square. So...wow. Here, take a closer look:


I mean, sure, be a panda. Cool. Be unusually short. That's your thing. But why the gloves? Are your hands really that big? Can you not grip bamboo with your normal paws? Anyone have a clue as to what this guy is about? Anyone? Anyone?