Friday, August 28, 2009

Even the Buddha visits the Met

For the third installment of our "The Met is Ridiculous" series we will take a look at this beautiful bronze statue entitled "Seated Buddha." Hello there Seated Buddha from Pakistan. Welcome to New York City. It certainly took you long enough to visit considering you've been around since the 1ST OR 2ND CENTURY. I realize you're seated and all but seriously we both know you could have gone on and figured out a way to get here sooner. Whatevs. You're here now.

So you're probably one of the earliest iconic representations of Shakyamuni Buddha from Gandhara? That's cool. I guess there's 2319423750897 Buddha statues there now so you decided to come to New York to make it big. Good luck Seated Buddha considering you can't even get up to change the channel on the TV! How do you think you are going to make a name for yourself when all you do is sit there???

So you get to New York City and the first thing you do? Statue of Liberty. Not a bad choice considering what the babies of New York are doing to it. Then you probably went to Times Square and took in a Broadway show before ending up at the Metropolitan Museum of Fine Arts. All fine and good except one thing Seated Buddha: YOU FORGOT TO TAKE OFF YOUR STATUE OF LIBERTY HAT!

That crown is meant for Lady Liberty Buddha, not you! What, just because you too are liberated you think you have a right to wear that ridiculous hat everywhere you go? Geez, I'm tired of standing out like a sore thumb with you. I'm no tourist. I'm going home. No, NO SEATED BUDDHA, you stay here at the Met. You think about what you've done.

And a word of advice since you're new here Seated Buddha: since you're all monastic and stuff don't fall in with the wrong crowd. [Readers note: this is a combination topless and Met article! Cross-genre in da hiz-ouseee!]

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