Saturday, June 13, 2009
Because the Metropolitan Museum of Fine Art spans three miles over New York City and is ripe for ridicule I've decided this is the first of many posts related to the fine museum. Today we will go in depth with Paul Cezanne's "Dominique Aubert, the Artist's Uncle, as a Monk."
Get this world: Cezanne couldn't find a real live monk so he calls up his uncle to play the part. Now imagine me saying this in my French accent which sounds distinctly like a Jamaican accent: Cezanne's all like, "Uncle Dominique, I'm gonna make you famous mon." Uncle Dominique gets all psyched because he knows that one day he'll be hanging in the Met. He's like, "Awesome, I'll be right over mon."
Dominique gets there and Cezanne's like, "Listen...I need you to play dress up for me." Then, according to the little plaque alongside this portrait, Dominique Aubert "posed in a Dominican habit." Dominique, have you ever even seen a Dominican before? Their habits include smoking cigars, lounging on the beach, and drinking Presidente. They do not include being all pissed off!
Why are you so bummed out anyway? Is it because you thought you were going to be famous for being you but instead had to dress up to be someone? Or is it because you're worried about your rent stabilized situation on the Upper East Side? Or is it because you're immortally stuck indoors during the Dominican Day Parade? I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's the parade. Good luck with that. I'll pour some Brugal out for you in August.