This guy

Thanks to Oliver for this hot tip. On Gansevoort St between Greenwich and Little W 12th Sts you may find Nathan Stodola doing, well, the above. For more information about this gent check out the Time Out NY interview.

Look even my costume is disgusted with me!

Halloween in New York City is scary! Not because of the decorations or the haunted houses but because for one night only people think it's Mardi Gras. Check out the delightful costume pictured above from last year's Halloween parade.

The best part? YOU CAN BE HER THIS YEAR! That's right folks, click here to find out where you show up naked with owl boobs and jump in. This is perfect for everyone who has ever wanted to be in a parade but has done nothing with their life. Which is the entire NYiR staff. We should probably go.

J/k! We're gonna be at our awesome Halloween party. Are you gonna come? Yeah? Smart move. You should RSVP.

Awesome Halloween costume swappage

Next Saturday Trophy Bar (look! so underground they have a blog instead of a website!) is hosting a Halloween costume swap. That's right folks, bring your inappropriate Steve Irwin costume and you can trade it in for an equally inappropriate Michael Jackson costume.

So head over to Trophy Bar to meet with their professional “costume consultants,” drink creepy-themed drinks, and shake your groove thang. As they so aptly put it, "why spend money on slutty cop outfits when you can spend it on alcohol instead? Hello, it’s a no-brainer. Mmmmmm BRAIIIINS."

For more info and to RSVP click here. I think you have to RSVP to make sure you'll get in. Not unlike that AWESOME HALLOWEEN PARTY WE'RE THROWING.

NYiR throws Golden Age Halloween Party

That's right! The big announcement alluded to yesterday is that we're throwing the best and biggest Halloween jam of all time ever.

When: October 31st 9:00 PM - 3:00 AM
Where: 15 N. Oxford (between Flushing and Park Ave) Fort Greene, Brooklyn 11205

What:

• open bar all night long serving beer, wine, champagne, and vodka
  
• large awesome decked out Halloween wonderland
  
• 2 great DJs playing everything from hip hop to 80s + 90s jams and on and on
  
• costume contest
• photobooth
  
• magic by Jeff Grow (check his video!)
  
• great people and times

It's $25 if you pre-pay on the site below, $30 at the door. So bring your friends and partners and friends' partners and that cute guy with the lazy eye who you're sorta embarrassed about dating but figure he'll fit right in 'cause it's Halloween.

Bring 'em all but please RSVP because we wanna know that you're coming. Oh, and you have to be 21 or over of course there's a bar sillyhead.

Check the invite video below:

For more info on the Golden Age Halloween Party or to buy your tickets click here. All RSVPs should go to GoldenAgeParty@gmail.com. We look forward to seeing you there!

This guy

This guy...he was in Union Square. So...wow. Here, take a closer look:


I mean, sure, be a panda. Cool. Be unusually short. That's your thing. But why the gloves? Are your hands really that big? Can you not grip bamboo with your normal paws? Anyone have a clue as to what this guy is about? Anyone? Anyone?

The Metropolitan Museum of Fine Art and Dominican habits

Because the Metropolitan Museum of Fine Art spans three miles over New York City and is ripe for ridicule I've decided this is the first of many posts related to the fine museum. Today we will go in depth with Paul Cezanne's "Dominique Aubert, the Artist's Uncle, as a Monk."

Get this world: Cezanne couldn't find a real live monk so he calls up his uncle to play the part. Now imagine me saying this in my French accent which sounds distinctly like a Jamaican accent: Cezanne's all like, "Uncle Dominique, I'm gonna make you famous mon." Uncle Dominique gets all psyched because he knows that one day he'll be hanging in the Met. He's like, "Awesome, I'll be right over mon."

Dominique gets there and Cezanne's like, "Listen...I need you to play dress up for me." Then, according to the little plaque alongside this portrait, Dominique Aubert "posed in a Dominican habit." Dominique, have you ever even seen a Dominican before? Their habits include smoking cigars, lounging on the beach, and drinking Presidente. They do not include being all pissed off!

Why are you so bummed out anyway? Is it because you thought you were going to be famous for being you but instead had to dress up to be someone? Or is it because you're worried about your rent stabilized situation on the Upper East Side? Or is it because you're immortally stuck indoors during the Dominican Day Parade? I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's the parade. Good luck with that. I'll pour some Brugal out for you in August.

Da da da dummmm: we have superheroes!

New York City is ripe with real-life superheroes. Not just one but multiple heroes. I am overwhelmed with excitement.

I am all for the noble citizens of our fair city stepping beyond their comfort level to be of benefit to their communities. But costumes and monikers? Really? No, no...really? Let's review: most of these heroes go out and feed the homeless and tell drug dealers that they need to leave their park alone (or else they'll call the cops). I admire that. I really do. But seriously, do I need to dress up like the Dark Guardian (above) to give a dollar to the Vietnam vet on my corner? No. And I'm not about to create a persona and a myspace page to let other people know I do that. I'll just tell you on this blog in a back-handed way.

The Dark Guardian often goes off into the dark and scary night to feed the homeless with his trusted partner Life by his side. Life? Ok. Dress up is fun sometimes (take note ladies of New York). But these names: you named yourself after a cereal? You have to realize you're setting yourself up to face such arch-enemies as Captain Crunch and Count Chocula. And frankly Life, my money's on them.

I have to admit I haven't seen any of these superheroes personally. Actually, maybe this one. I think I've seen him every time I'm stuck in traffic. But that seems like it's more of a hero for hire sort of thing. And that his main nemesis is that gross bug I hit while driving upstate.

My favorite of all of our local heroes is Terrifica. Terrifica roams the night protecting da ladiezzz from getting drunk and making bad decisions. Bad decisions Terrifica? Look in the mirror and let's talk about your outfit. Here's an excerpt from an interview with Terrifica:

"To feel like you have to go to a bar, to put yourself out there, feeling like you have worth only when you're married, engaged, or have a boyfriend, that's weakness," Terrifica says. "People are happiest when they're alone and living their solitary lives."

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen: if you want go grow old with cats let Terrifica save you from yourself. I do admire you, heroes and heroines of the night: it wouldn't be New York if people didn't dress outrageously and insist on letting me know what's best for me. You are what this blog was created for because, in every sense of the word, you are ridiculous. And let's face it: I'm a little jealous.