Moishe's self storage: because you just don't have a closet

New York City is the easiest city to navigate; it's so well laid out. It's like our founding fathers knew that someday you would be drunk on W. 23rd and 7th Ave and would have no clue what to do when you had to meet someone who was also drunk and kept yelling, "I'm 6 blocks south! 6 BLOCKS SOUTH!"

However, they were founding fathers. And, as men, they did not have a lot of clothes. They weren't big shoppers. So they didn't need a lot of closet space. Flash forward to present day New York living situations and you are hard pressed to find an apartment that has more than a hall closet. FOR REAL out of towners, this is a fact. No closets in all of NYC.

That means that more and more people are turning to Moishe and his competitors to store their junk in Queens, the Bronx, and even that mythical land of Long Island. I myself just let boxes accumulate around the house but it's my understanding from the 3594372530948 subway ads that every New Yorker except for me looooves storing their belongings far away from home at the low monthly rate of $29/month.

Then again, the only time I've seen the inside of one of these NYC-based storage facilities was on T.V. and that was only when the hero discovers a body. So maybe Moishe is secretly storing bodies for all of New York. I'll just keep mine on the mantle and save myself some money, thanks M.