The Park Slope Co-op (and the new tees)

Does this image strike fear into your heart? Then you are one of the veggie-lovers of South Brooklyn who have fallen into the cycle of terror and panic and squash that is the Park Slope Food Coop. These nazis have taken over the town. Try this: go to google. Now type in "park slope " and look at the first potential search term: PARK SLOPE FOOD COOP.

I attempted to infiltrate their ranks when I first moved here but nooo...they would not have me. Okay, they had me but then I missed a shift working there and then I was suspended and I was all like, "Hellz no I'm not doing a double asking every SloBitch whether their avacados are organic or non-organic because there's a 13 cent difference and the SloBitch is gonna call me on it." Then I was put on alert. Then I felt ashamed of myself and left the coop in disgrace.

If your life partly revolves around salads (ahem, you know who you are) then this is a great place. Who cares that you have to work there once a month? It's worth it for the carrots. However, if you are like me and appreciate the fact that there are 343295 Chinese restaurants within six blocks of your home that you do not have to work at in order to enjoy their food then you may feel that you have other options.

Seriously, can you imagine going to your grocery store and someone saying "Sorry, you can't come in. You're suspended from eating our food." Only in Park Slope. Anyway, some genius has produced shirts to commemorate this horrible feeling of shame that comes from not doing your coop shift. Check them out.