NYiR has found its cigar lounge

A man and his cigar lounge is a special relationship, particularly in New York City where you can no longer smoke indoors at most establishments. The mere existence of a cigar lounge thus harkens back to the days of yore when a man can slip on a suit, light up a cigar, and enjoy a scotch in the company of some good jazz.

Unfortunately most cigar lounges in New York City cater to finance douches (there, we said it). Many are based in midtown and descriptions accurately point out that they feel like an "Ivy League alumni club" for the "pinstripe-and-cuff-link variety." Not so at Velvet Cigars, the cigar lounge that New York is Ridiculous now officially endorses. While no dive it is a relaxed lounge where one can enjoy a smoke without feeling pretentious.

First things first: it's not huge. It's tiny actually. And the selection is also tiny. And they don't have alcohol.

So, you may wonder, why would we ever like it? Because of all those things. The size is just big enough for a dozen or fifteen people. It's not the sort of place that is packed so in other words it's not crowded, it's intimate. It's impossible to hang out there for a few hours without naturally meeting another patron who is enjoying a smoke and striking up a conversation.

The cigars are all excellent and are named after different parts of the East Village. I enjoyed an Astor the other day at the great rate of $6 per corona.

As for the alcohol they are a BYO place so we enjoyed good scotch by the bottle while smoking and hanging out. The service was excellent as well.

Velvet Cigars also gets bonus points for being directly across the street from NYiR's favorite bar: Blue & Gold. Velvet Cigars is located at 80 E. 7th between 1st and 2nd Ave. We'll see you there.

Heathers has bear parts all up in your face

Sometimes when you live in New York City you meet up with a friend and say "There must be a good bar around here somewhere right?" and you wander and then you come to a frost-glass windowed establishment with a small sign with someone's name on it and you think, "Ah, this must be a bar" and half the time you walk into an apartment building.

Well, not with Heathers! Heathers is a real bar. Not someone's apartment building. Even though it's got the frost-glass and small sign and stuff. It's on 13th St between avenues A and B. What else does it have going for it? Well let's head to the bar. There's the $5 beer, the fact that there are gluten free beer options for all you glutenous nerds out there, and what's that there? Ah, they serve absinthe. Lovely.

Now let's check out the scene. Hipster, hipster, suit, hipster, co-existing peacefully, and...wait. What's that in the back? It's staring straight at me, baring deep into my soul. It's a bear. But it's not looking at me with it's eyes it's staring at me with its..........vagina. I want to look away but I can't. It's so big and so in my face that I will just sit here on my retro bar stool and stare at a bear's vagina until my friend tells me it's time to go.

So if you like small out of the way dive bars where hipsters and young professionals co-exist and a bear's vagina will put you in a trance then welcome home. You sicko.