NYiR has found its cigar lounge

A man and his cigar lounge is a special relationship, particularly in New York City where you can no longer smoke indoors at most establishments. The mere existence of a cigar lounge thus harkens back to the days of yore when a man can slip on a suit, light up a cigar, and enjoy a scotch in the company of some good jazz.

Unfortunately most cigar lounges in New York City cater to finance douches (there, we said it). Many are based in midtown and descriptions accurately point out that they feel like an "Ivy League alumni club" for the "pinstripe-and-cuff-link variety." Not so at Velvet Cigars, the cigar lounge that New York is Ridiculous now officially endorses. While no dive it is a relaxed lounge where one can enjoy a smoke without feeling pretentious.

First things first: it's not huge. It's tiny actually. And the selection is also tiny. And they don't have alcohol.

So, you may wonder, why would we ever like it? Because of all those things. The size is just big enough for a dozen or fifteen people. It's not the sort of place that is packed so in other words it's not crowded, it's intimate. It's impossible to hang out there for a few hours without naturally meeting another patron who is enjoying a smoke and striking up a conversation.

The cigars are all excellent and are named after different parts of the East Village. I enjoyed an Astor the other day at the great rate of $6 per corona.

As for the alcohol they are a BYO place so we enjoyed good scotch by the bottle while smoking and hanging out. The service was excellent as well.

Velvet Cigars also gets bonus points for being directly across the street from NYiR's favorite bar: Blue & Gold. Velvet Cigars is located at 80 E. 7th between 1st and 2nd Ave. We'll see you there.

Little branch has big flavor

"Recalling certain gentlemen of other days, who made of drinking one of the pleasures of life - not one of its evils; and who whatever they drank, proved able to carry it, keep their heads, and remain gentlemen, even in their cups. Their example is commended to their posterity." - abridged from The Old Waldorf Astoria Bar Book by A.S. Crockett

The above is the bulk of the text from the menu at NYiR's favorite fancy cocktail bar, Little Branch. Nice website right? It matches the other eye-catching aspects of this look-at-me bar. Namely, there's no sign (just a plaque that looks like it belongs outside your dentist) and that it's just a black door on a random street corner (featured above). If you can find it though you descend into a cozy, upscale parlor with sometimes live sometimes good old recordings of jazz and the best cocktails in Manhattan.

The bartenders are impeccably dressed and are excellent at what they do. Avoid the menu and just play Mad Libs. For example, "Hello there [name of impeccably dressed individual]. I would like to order a [liqour] based cocktail that features [your favorite color, season, sports team, whatever you want]." They will nod and a few minutes later produce heaven in a glass. I went for scotch and "something minty or spring-like" the other night and received a scotch-ade which was a mint, cucumber, scotch concoction that would best be served on a cool day in May.

I admit that the deliciousness comes at a price. $12. But it's the sort of alcoholic beverage that is worth $12. I recommend going here before going out for a night, on the early side, with a small number of people or just one friend. It's that cozy and precious. Like you. And Knut the polar bear.

Blue & Gold

Scotch. I love the smell. I love the taste. I even love its eighties sound. But in New York City if you want to go out for a glass of good scotch you have to assume you're going to drop an Andrew Jackson or two. Not so at the Blue & Gold Tavern (79 E. 7th St). For $4 you can take your pick of Laphroaig, Macallan, or any of the greats. $4! At these prices anyone can afford to get drunk.

Yes I admit this is a dive bar. Sorry cast of Gossip Girl it is not your scene. The clientele can be a bit iffy at times. On the plus side there's a pool table, a decent juke box, and shot and beer specials such as the Dirty Hipster (Jager and PBR). I can drink and make fun of hipsters at the same time? That is oh so good.

You get four stars Blue & Gold. I will see you tonight. I'll be the guy drinking your cheap beautiful scotch by the jukebox getting hustled at pool by the drunk cat and playing Hanson's "Mmmbop" on repeat.