Weekend Bulletin

You missed these didn't you? Here's what's what this weekend:

It's ASIA WEEK in the city. You didn't know that did you? God, you can be so culturally insensitive sometimes. J/k. How would you know? It's the first annual Asia Week New York, a collaboration between 294723098 museums that focus on Asian art and culture. Even if you're hungover and can't walk further than your local bagel place this weekend you'll probably still be able to catch an event or showing on the way; they're everywhere. Click the link for more deets.

Not in the mood for Chinese? How about the new Gossip Girl tour? On this three and a half hour tour of the Upper East Side you can "get spotted" at the kids' high school, shop at Henri Bendel, and (I love this part) sit on the steps of the Met JUST LIKE THEY DO ON THE SHOW! Meet at noon at 51st St and Madison Ave and experience the magic that is a mundane Upper East Side lifestyle.

At night I'd recommend checking out Annie's Shakespeare Showdown because A) when was the last time you went to a Shakespearian coming out party and B) I dated Annie for two months sophomore year of high school (true story). There's live music, burlesque dancers, drinks, and the actors are wandering around schmoozing with you so you can drunkenly hit on Romeo just like your English teacher would've wanted you to. (at China One, 8-10 pm each night this weekend)

Times Square Week

Times Square: the center of the universe. This week we'll explore many facets of this remarkable area of New York City. One thing that makes it ridiculous is that no New Yorker ever wants to go there. It's a tourist mecca that has been over-run by some really amazing in-your-face folks (even more so than the YOGs and YOBs of Park Slope!). For example:

The comedy club guy
For some reason these guys are everywhere in Times Square asking you if you like to laugh, waving brochures in your face, and trying to be funny. My favorite is this one guys who just goes, "HAHAHA. HAHAHA. COMEDY CLUB." Simple, to the point, I like it. I'd see his act.

A few years ago my girlfriend was accosted by one of these people. When he asked her, "Do you like to laugh?" she tried to avoid him. He went all Michael Richards and was like, "No I don't think you DO like to laugh. You probably just like to sit at home in the dark and watch sad movies and cry." I'd see his act too.

The tour bus guy
No I don't want to see where Miranda and Carrie had drinks during the Sex and the City movie.

The demo guy
This is the one guy I usually find charming. He'll start off with a "you like hip-hop?" and when you even remotely look at him he gives you his demo for $5. Usually in that order where the demo is in your hand before you even know you're buying it. This can be annoying but some of these CDs are real gems.

When I was still a teenager I came across "Lucky" Logan P. McCoy who sold me on his CD which featured such songs as "I've got a crush!" and "I like you." Those were some hardcore jams about respecting women and handing out CDs on the streets. Thank you Lucky Logan for introducing me to hip-hop.