Ray's Pizza

How many Ray's Pizzas are there in New York City? According to google, 567,000. There are "Ray's Original Pizza," "Famous Ray's Pizza," "World-Famous Original Ray's Pizza," "Another Ray's Pizza Down the Street from that Other Ray's" and "Look at me, I'm the real Ray and I will stand up Pizza." I may have made up the last two. The funny thing about this Ray phenomena is that I'm not entirely sure that I did.

Supposedly the original restaurant was opened by Ralph Cuomo at 27 Prince Street in 1959. There's no real way to verify the original location though. I might just start telling people that I did it to see if it will get me into all those cool clubs in lower Manhattan.

Enough of this ticket nonsense, let's arrest everyone

Following on our super fascinating story of last week on guerrilla subway etiquette posters we are tickled to announce that the website Violation Report has posted a full manual on subway indiscretions. Check it out.

The beauty of Violation Report is that it focuses on what New Yorkers do best, publicly and anonymously shaming their fellow man. All you have to do is take a photo, file a detailed report on their site, and it will go live on their violation database. I know, I looked through it to make sure I wasn't already reported too.

If you don't feel like anonymously shaming people the site provides downloadable tickets you can issue in person. Good luck with that. Stay tuned for our follow up post: funny youtube video of guy trying to issue subway violation ticket getting beat up by old lady with umbrella.

The Return of the Spelling

Die hard fans like yourself may recall that close to a year ago we reported on Tori Spelling's posters being defaced in subway tunnels around the city.

Well good news NYC! Tori Spelling's back with a new show and new graffiti art to match. We found this piece of art in the Carroll St F train stop.


The above gives you the basic flavor of Tori's new look. Obviously that adorable baby from before has grown up and is a total pothead:
Some of you may say, "That's despicable! He's only a child!" Hold on there Daffy Duck. Check out the pic without the blunt:

That kid looks high as f*ck. Which marketing genius thought this was a flattering photo? The kid is clearly tripping balls and thinks he's got the family maid and butler on marionette strings. I mean, what else could he possibly be doing with that gesture? Speaking of gestures, what's up with Mr. Tori Spelling?
Why would you ever pose like that? Is he ACTING? Is he doing a bollywood dance? Is he changing an imaginary light bulb? Listen Mr. Tori Spelling, you pose like that in NYC you're basically asking for this to happen:


Just like last time you remain the boner champ.

Last but not least I have to point out that Tori's head-giving abilities as espoused by the previous poster must have caught up with her because now she is a devilish and domestic sex symbol that even the dog wants to get with.

Wait, what? Her kid's a druggie and her husband fondles balls but she for some reason knows how to cook (note the serving fork), is dressed like a sexy devil and is all of a sudden attractive to other beings? Hmm...no...it couldn't be.

My god. It is. NYiR late-breaking story: Tori Spelling is the artist.

Subway etiquette signs

It's about time someone did this. Check out these guerilla subway etiquette signs that artist Jay Shells is putting up in random trains this week. Collectors itemmmmm!

This

No...words...poodles...NY Times...Sports sec...tion...?


photo courtesy of nytimes.com

NPR Reports: Hipsters suck, Williamsburg lame

Yeah, my household is me, this girl I just met, my brother Tree here, an iPad, and twenty Smith albums.

NPR has noticed what NYiR reported a long time ago: hipsters in Williamsburg are lame.

The abstract from the NPR article:

Many New York City residents aren't returning their census forms. The return rate is only around 50 percent, but the lowest rate of return (around 30 percent) is the hipster enclave of Williamsburg, Brooklyn. These young, recent graduates with ironic mustaches and plaid shirts are apparently too busy tweeting to fill out a simple census form.

My fav part is when one hipster was asked what he thought would increase the return rate and replied, "I mean people would do it if they got like five bucks." He then went on to say that he could totally score two Sparks for that much and high-fived his friend who tweeted "NPR u r so 2009."

For the ever-funny SNL census skit click here.

photo courtesy of latfh.com

NY Mag declares New Jersey Most Livable Neighborhood in New York

J/k! Take the plunge into the statistical madness that is NY Magazine's Most Livable Neighborhood article.

Spoiler alert: number 1 with a bullet is the place that has everything - Slobitches, YOGs, and gang warfare. Sounds ideal to me!

I imagine they will continue to update this list as the affordability, shopping, and restaurants change every five minutes.

Sparks Energy Drink

First the bad news: Sparks has been reported dead. What is Sparks you say? Why only the number one best-selling alcoholic energy drink in the city of New York featuring malt liquor, taurine, caffeine, guarana and ginseng.

Apparently after corporate America (hate you corporate America! you ruin everything!) found out that kids love energy drinks and secretly drinking alcohol and Sparks is an energy drink and has 7% alcohol content in it they were like "Dagnabit! No more caffeine in Sparks!" and MillerCoors was all like, "Yes sir. Right away sir."

So the bad news is that in early 2009 everyone got all sad because Sparks was going to die without it's caffeine boost. Now the good news: we're here a year and a half later to point out that it did not. Sparks may exist in other cities but it in New York you can find it everywhere milk is sold. See?

So while it may not carry the same kick it used to it still tastes gross and makes you look homeless. Available everywhere in NYC.

NYC Prep, Gossip Girl, and 50 cent....Oh My!

It had to happen. At some point someone would have to notice all of the successful Upper East Side teenager-does-drugs-and-has-sex TV shows and say, "I know. I'll be the 43975304976 person to do a movie about that." The movie, Twelve, received horrible reviews at Sundance and may not see much success but we had to bring you this trailer.

Why? Because it was not enough to just reference Upper East Side shows like Gossip Girl and NYC Prep, they had to deliberately pluck the stars from those shows to fill their cast. Check out Chace Crawford (Nate on GG) being moody or just zoom ahead to the 1:18 marker to watch PC from NYC Prep cum in his pants. What a way to break into the entertainment industry.

In our opinion it would be a simple editing fix to make this movie a great success: just switch in Chace selling his body to 50 Cent for drugs instead of that Blair Waldorf rip-off. Ta-daa. Instant millions.

You are 50% more likely to get a cab if you put your hand up

The New York Times has graced us with info on where to get info on where to get a cab. For most of us New Yorkers it's a simple act of leaping into traffic with your arm upright (I prefer the thumb in, four finger method myself) but what once was an art can now be called science.

Using GPS wizardry a detailed map on the best spots to get a cab at a given day and time has been developed. Topping the list for 9 a.m. Monday cab hails are, not surprisingly, Pennsylvania Station and Grand Central. However, at 3 a.m. on a Sunday, passengers stumble into more cabs at 10th Avenue and 27th Street in Chelsea than anywhere else in the city. Is Bungalow 8 making a come back? If so and you want in on the action follow these three easy steps listed by an expert reviewer on yelp:

"1. bring a)women b)a regular or c)alot of money for bottles
2. dress to the nines (barneys or bergdorf can help you)
3. dont show up until 1 am because that is when it gets going"

Barneys or Bergdorf can help us all. Click here for the New York Times article.

OMG!

10,000 of you have looked at New York is Ridiculous in the 11 months we've been up. Stop it! Go outside or someting.

J/k. Thanks for the love.

NYiR is such a Samantha

The second Sex and the City movie launches in exactly 60 days and boy are we here at the New York is Ridiculous office excited. And by excited we mean for the vacation the entire staff will take to avoid the ridiculous upsurge of middle-aged women sipping on martinis, talking about shoes and making eyes at us. If the first movie taught us anything it's that SATC magnetizes women who refuse to age gracefully to our fair city.

Due to the recent beating Sarah Jessica Parker took on South Park I will back off the "ladies" themselves and simply offer this link to an article about how some hotels and clubs are trying to cash in on the action. Enjoy! While you read that we'll be looking into rentals in the countryside.

photo courtesy of nydailynews.com

Hipster spin off time

Month and months ago we tipped y'all off to Look at this Fucking Hipster. We are pleased to bring you the latest and best spin off of that site, Representative Rosa DeLauro is a Fucking Hipster. Yes, we realize that Rosa DeLauro is a Rep from CT. But first off, we all know that Connecticut is just a suburb of New York City. Secondly, they don't have hipsters there so all the jokes are about how Rosa hangs out in NYC. For example, the caption for the pic above is, “Found it in a thrift store off the Lorimer stop. 8 bucks. Guy who owned the place was listening to Nickleback. I know, right?”

Congratulations Travis and Kirk, you just got added to the ridiculous link section of NYiR.