Weekend Bulletin!

Thanks and praises be to the lovely Victoria Gerstman for writing up this weekend's bulletin of events. She is cool and you should take her advice. I often do.

Tonight, dig out your most outrageous duds and pay tribute to New York's unofficial spokeswoman at the The Flame Monster Ball at Mix in Astoria [editor's note: I know, it's Queens. Just keep an open mind for once in your life]. The clientele at Mix aren't exactly known for their restraint [editor's note: neither are you], so tonight's event should be one heck of a time whether you're a Lady Gaga enthusiast or not (do you see how I resisted saying goo goo for Gaga? Do you?)

On Friday and Saturday nights you'll have the once in a lifetime (maybe, probably not) chance to catch Ben Bailey from Cash Cab doing stand up at Comix. Wait. You don't know what Cash Cab is? Why, it is only the most important television show of our time. After Jersey Shore, that is. [last editor's note for realsies: you need to click on that link] Anyway, Ben Bailey is bound to be hilarious.



Saturday evening also brings us the 2nd Annual Cassoulet Cookoff at Jimmy's No. 43. Nothing like a fancy French version of stew to warm your winter-weary bones.

If snobby French stew doesn't quite do it for you, cut your losses and head to the Tribeca 92Y for a Muppets Take Manhattan Sing-a-long. I almost didn't want to tell you guys about this, cuz I don't want to fight the crowds. But I am nice, so here are the details.

When you're done sleeping off your Sunday morning Muppet-hangover, pop over to the NY Historical Society for everyone's favorite way to spend a day - a murder mystery! What fun!

It may be a three day weekend, but that doesn't mean you should spend the whole day on your ratty sofa, reading NYiR archives. Instead, do that, and then get yourself into Manhattan for an MLK-themed walking tour. Led by eighth graders (aww)! Meet at the Ghandi statue in Union Square at 10 am for "A Peace of the Dream: Living MLK's Dream in a Turbulent World."

Sperm spa treatments

This week we have decided to devote all three posts entirely to spas. Spa Week!

Now everyone knows that New York is Ridiculous loves seamen so but apparently at Townhouse Spa you can receive a facial that is not unlike every pornographic movie ever. According to New York Magazine spermine, an anti-oxident found in human sperm, has been proven to smooth out your wrinkles. So you can go to the Townhouse Spa and ask for a spermine facial. Oh yes. A spermine facial. It will cost you $250.

I went to their website but could not find which facial included the semen extract being rubbed all over your face. As a result I am going to guess it is the "Townhouse Glow Facial." Because after you receive it your face will glow. Under a blacklight. And because they finish with a "hydrating hand treatment." Who's hands and what are they treating? Anyone's guess. For my part I'll just stick to Townhouse's $175 snail-secretion facial. That's more my level of kink.

Congratulations on being born stupid baby

New York is Ridiculous would like to congratulate guest blogger Dave Perrin and his wife Anne Keenan on making a baby. Little newyorkisridiculous.blogspot.com (actual kid's name) was born last Thursday a full eight pounds and very healthy. So congrats to Dave and Anne and as for you baby well...I imagine the first thing you did after exiting your mother's womb is look at my rant about babies. So you know how I feel about you. You know.

Abracadabra

Abracadabra is like entering the beyond section at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I know. I wanted to insert that Family Guy clip here too. It's not online. Sorry. Don't freak out.

Anyway you walk in and are warmly welcomed by a vomiting sound and goo emitting from this gentleman:
Charming, no?

From then on you realize this is no ordinary costume shop. This is the one place I've found in New York City where you can buy a realistic tiger mask, chest hair, and battle axe. Yes, it's a legit axe. I heard it killed two level 7 mages. You think I would buy some plastic shit? Damn you know I know my battle axes son!
Look at how scary these masks are too! I think if there was someone wearing that panda one they would automatically suck my soul out like a dementor.** So if you are looking for some fire magic or want to own a samurai sword or just have a hankering for whatever this is
then come on down to Abracadabra at 219 W. 21st St. And tell the goo emitting gentleman I said "hi" for a 10% discount!

** Essential sidenote: the new Harry Potter movie is awesome and well worth fighting off dorky kids with scarred forehead tattoos to see. My girlfriend stood outside the premiere and saw both Kelsey Grammer AND Dennis Leary. WOW! One thing to do if you get bored waiting in long lines at Harry Potter? Yell "Expeliarmus!" at that kid in the robes trying to urinate in the public restroom. Gets them everytime.