Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Fleet Week

New York is overflowing with sea...sailors. Sorry about that. Seriously, these fine men and women of the sea swamped the city last week. And boy did they pull tail. To get down to the bottom of this phenomenon I sat down with NYC sailing expert Marina K for an in-depth interview.

NYiR: So Marina, in your expert opinion, what is it about sailors that make them so successful with the ladies?
Marina K: They are wearing costumes.

That gets to the heart of it. For more analysis I took aside one of the sailors to ask him some very pointed questions while Marina blushed into her $4 top shelf scotch (Blue & Gold on e. 7th - more info about that to be posted soon).

NYiR: Now you sir are a sailor are you not?
Drunken Sailor: Oh yeah I am! Fleet week!
NYiR: Indeed. How many times do you dock and have these sorts of weeks?
DS: I usually get three, maybe four a year.
NYiR: And the ladies seem to enjoy your uniform. I imagine, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but does that mean that during a week such as this you would go home with many women?
DS: You see that booth over there? (pointing to from whence he came) I could take home any one of those four girls. All I've got to do is put my hat on them and they melt.
NYiR: That is indeed a fancy trick. And it works?
DS: Every time.

So ladies (and I imagine this goes for gentlemen too) - go do your country proud and get a sailor to loan you their hat. You too can melt! To everyone who has worn the hat this week in NYC, consider yourself saluted.

Oh, and a hot tip for anyone thinking about just renting a costume to get laid: it doesn't always work.

1 comment:

  1. i can attest that this is exactly how it all went down.



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