Drinks at the SoHo Grand

I love cocktails. I'm not ashamed to admit it. They are yummy. Particularly at the SoHo Grand Hotel Bar and Lounge. I went there for a hangover brunch feeling awful and then I met you, Bloody Mary at the SoHo Grand. You were my everything. You picked me up when I was down. You gave me fresh life and restored me to perfect health. You are a miracle and I am so glad you have entered my life.

I'm also a big fan of the SoHo's Perfect Ten which consists of "stolichnaya vanil, pineapple juice, lemon." I don't know what language "stolichnaya vanil" comes from but I'm pretty sure it can best be translated as "nectar of the loins of the gods." It also has a slew of secret ingredients that get me as excited as when I'm on a boat. As you may recall I'm not a big fan of expensive drinks but I lurve the Perfect Ten.

Also, while this is a high class joint I highly recommend going there in jeans and a t-shirt because then everyone else in their suits and party dresses think you're in a band. And that's awesome.

Magnolia cupcakes are better than sex (believe me, I've almost had sex before)

Thank you for the report, blonde blair witch from the playboy mansion who sweats like a whore in church! I agree, Magnolia's cupcakes are awesome.

Made famous to me by Andy Samberg's "Lazy Sunday" I have to admit I was suspicious. I mean, this is the same guy who told me to put my dick in a box and give it to girls as a present. And we all know you get arrested for that unless you're famous.

Still, biting into one of these cupcakes for the first time is like that screaming orgasm scene in that movie we all grew up on. Y'know, Debbie Does Dallas. When she finally gets to Dallas and does him (yes, Dallas is a guy, not a city in this film you sicko). Here, you should chill out and rest in a love more pure than sex - the love of cupcakes.

Union Hall Bocce League

As you can see above the authors of this blog (Ian and Lodro) take bocce ball at Union Hall very seriously. Seriously for us though means that it holds our attention for twenty minutes and then we get distracted and go to Chuck E. Cheese or something equally catering to our ADHD dynamic. However, the bocce ball league games get pretty intense at Union Hall and some people take it seriously for real.

Once a week we all gather and throw our blue balls near the white ball and get points and high five one another and pretend that we are participating in a real sports league. We sometimes even get out the tape measure in order to see whose ball is closest to what. Does that sound vaguely sexual? I can't even tell anymore. Because as co-team captain of LETHAL ELEGANCE (don't like the name? then suggest something) I have to take this game as seriously as is expected of me. Here, look:

No, not at the pretty girl (hi Lora! thanks for being a cover for this totally covert picture!). Look at the referee. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, when your bocce team perseveres for countless drunken battles and you claw your way into the finals you get a real live referee to complain to when the obnoxious tape measuring of your balls is not enough. I wouldn't know since we came in last place in the league last year but this year we will triumph and I will get in this guy's face and scream and kick the green dusty make up of the court and wave my hands in the air. Like Bo from this We Like Sportz rip-off. Speaking thereof who's in for a Monday night game? I think we need a fourth.