Museum of Modern Art? More like Museum of Monkey Art

Yes, I realize I made that joke last time I poked fun at MoMa. But this time I mean it. Monkeys really could do some of this stuff. Let's take the piece above. What is it? A slide showing tiny life forms artfully arranged? An open-ended dream catcher meant to signify the uninhibited status of the American dream? A mirror reflecting the viewer's own beauty? No. It's a yogurt cap.

This piece at MoMa, entitled "Yogurt caps," takes up a full room. With four yogurt caps. One on each wall. This is a tribute to the artist's first exhibition in a commercial space in New York City where he showed this piece some fifteen years ago. For years Gabriel Orozco has been praised for the ballsy move of displaying these everyday objects as art for his first major show.

However, it does make me come back to my point about the monkeys. If you happen to own one can you bring it and some weed over and we can get the monkey high? I'll arrange for him to have a major gallery show the next day. I'm 99% sure he would watch Spongebob Squarepants for the first 23 hours then freak out, grab some yogurt from my fridge and say he has a genius idea. Well, a bunch of them, but he's gonna start by displaying yogurt lids on a wall. Then as soon as he leaves we can turn to one another and say, "Man, that monkey was a real douche." Then we'd go to his show and praise his "appetite for risk" just like MoMa did. Looks more like a case of the munchies to me.

Anna Wintour will run for mayor

Over 700 clothing stores, designers, and hot dog vendors stayed open late last Thursday to celebrate Fashions Night Out, a new brainstorm from the lady who secretly runs this city, Fro Yo. Oh, sorry, I mean Anna Wintour. Most to all of these stores had free alcoholic treats for fashion-lovers and mooches such as myself. Because of the free booze and super mega sales it attracted massive crowds (see my official Fashions Night Out pic above).

According to the NY Daily Post good ol' Anna Wintour had Cynthia Rowley making jell-o shots and Oscar de la Renta singing to crowds in his own store all because she has Mayor Bloomberg by the balls. While he wanted to say "no" to this take over the city event he knew he would be run out of NYC. By me. Because I love going door to door like a 26-year-old trick-or-treater getting free booze. While waiting for the tardy twelve-term mayor Wintour was overhead saying, "“If he doesn't show, Diane [von Furstenberg] and I will run for mayor on a joint ticket and take over the city.”

If that means people getting all decked out in fashion's finest and turning all clothing stores into free champagne-flooded clubs she has NYiR's official endorsement.

In other news I'm on vacay so don't be bummed if I don't post 32534957 times this week. I'll be back next week. See you after I climb Mt. Awesome and ask the old man at the top why New York is so ridic. He'll probs be like, "Cause your blog reports it and thus it becomes reality" or some shiz.

I just want regular ice cream New York. Please, no more fro yo.

According to the scientists over at Google there are 2,080,000 frozen yogurt stores in New York City. Regular ice cream stores? 12.

I'm sure there's ice cream stores around it's just that with the eighteen fro yo places within one mile of my apartment (fo real) they seem to get lost in the crowd. In fact, every other store in da hood seems to get lost in the midst of the brightly colored Pinkberry, Yogomonster, Tasti D Lite, Red Mango, Yogurtland, Berrywild, Yoberry, Yorganic, Yogurt Mania, Village Yogurt and Yogonna Eat Dat? around. Ok, that last one we made up but if we didn't tell you ya woulda believed it.

Here's my problem with you frozen yogurt stores: you're delicious. Maybe it's the fact that I was told Tasti D Lite was real ice cream by my mother growing up, maybe it's the fact that there's 35743089574 toppings, but really it's probably because just that it hasn't taken a restraining order out on me. Unlike Lindsay Lohan who also loves fro yo (as showcased above). So thank you fro yo for taking over the city. You are doing a swell job running this place.

photo courtesy of websterismybitch.com