Models eat at Delicatessen, get foot rubs. I eat at delicatessen, get Tings.

Mark Amadei and Andrew Glassberg,

The Metropolitan Museum of Fine Art hosts Lady Robots for their Along Came Polly exhibit

In our second installment in our Metropolitan Museum of Fine Art series we will take a look at the Model as Muse installation. In particular this piece which features the dresses from the movie Qui êtes-vous, Polly Maggoo? That translates from the French to mean "How much aluminum alloy can you wear and did you enjoy the film Along Came Polly?"

In the youtube clip linked to above you can see that the plot of the movie revolves around an evil genius building lady robots to attack a defenseless igloo village. Trust me that's the plot. I'm fluent in French. And by "fluent" I mean I have excellent pronounciation when I ask people if they are super excited to see Spiderman 3. They pronounce it "Speederman" there which makes Peter Parker sound Jewish and that, frankly, is delightful.

However, evil genius, I have to point out that my friend Rio had this idea a WHOLE YEAR AGO. See?
She can even fly because she built a cape onto her robot body. Rio even got a Fullbright to pursue her research in Africa. Did you get a Fullbright Mr. Evil Genius? I thought not. I. Thought. Not.

Congratulations on being born stupid baby

New York is Ridiculous would like to congratulate guest blogger Dave Perrin and his wife Anne Keenan on making a baby. Little newyorkisridiculous.blogspot.com (actual kid's name) was born last Thursday a full eight pounds and very healthy. So congrats to Dave and Anne and as for you baby well...I imagine the first thing you did after exiting your mother's womb is look at my rant about babies. So you know how I feel about you. You know.

Heathers has bear parts all up in your face

Sometimes when you live in New York City you meet up with a friend and say "There must be a good bar around here somewhere right?" and you wander and then you come to a frost-glass windowed establishment with a small sign with someone's name on it and you think, "Ah, this must be a bar" and half the time you walk into an apartment building.

Well, not with Heathers! Heathers is a real bar. Not someone's apartment building. Even though it's got the frost-glass and small sign and stuff. It's on 13th St between avenues A and B. What else does it have going for it? Well let's head to the bar. There's the $5 beer, the fact that there are gluten free beer options for all you glutenous nerds out there, and what's that there? Ah, they serve absinthe. Lovely.

Now let's check out the scene. Hipster, hipster, suit, hipster, co-existing peacefully, and...wait. What's that in the back? It's staring straight at me, baring deep into my soul. It's a bear. But it's not looking at me with it's eyes it's staring at me with its..........vagina. I want to look away but I can't. It's so big and so in my face that I will just sit here on my retro bar stool and stare at a bear's vagina until my friend tells me it's time to go.

So if you like small out of the way dive bars where hipsters and young professionals co-exist and a bear's vagina will put you in a trance then welcome home. You sicko.

Weekend snapshot

Comedian Joe Pera accepts his Gentleman & Socialite award from NYiR enthusiast Laura Sinkman.

Hipster or Homeless (.com?)

According to the NY Daily News the hipsters are invading Williamsburg! Oh, wait. The homeless? Is it homeless people? But I thought they were uber-thin, wore vintage outfits and did heroin? Oh. The homeless can do that too?

Well this is going to be confusing! One homeless gentleman said, "The girls here like it that I'm dirty and I ride trains." I bet they do! In fact I bet Williamsburg is becoming heaven for homeless men in their twenties.

All of this makes me recall our post of old about lookatthisfuckinghipster.com. Maybe it's time we had a williamsburghipsterorhomeless.com? Those two blogs would end up going to war with each other over who gets to use which pic. (and yes I know that there is a lame version of hipsterorhomeless.com. but it's lame and has lame pictures that are neither hipster or homeless and clearly no one is taking that isht too seriously)

For anyone who is still confused about the difference between a homeless person and a hipster here is an educational video for you.

photo courtesy of NY Daily News

Abracadabra

Abracadabra is like entering the beyond section at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I know. I wanted to insert that Family Guy clip here too. It's not online. Sorry. Don't freak out.

Anyway you walk in and are warmly welcomed by a vomiting sound and goo emitting from this gentleman:
Charming, no?

From then on you realize this is no ordinary costume shop. This is the one place I've found in New York City where you can buy a realistic tiger mask, chest hair, and battle axe. Yes, it's a legit axe. I heard it killed two level 7 mages. You think I would buy some plastic shit? Damn you know I know my battle axes son!
Look at how scary these masks are too! I think if there was someone wearing that panda one they would automatically suck my soul out like a dementor.** So if you are looking for some fire magic or want to own a samurai sword or just have a hankering for whatever this is
then come on down to Abracadabra at 219 W. 21st St. And tell the goo emitting gentleman I said "hi" for a 10% discount!

** Essential sidenote: the new Harry Potter movie is awesome and well worth fighting off dorky kids with scarred forehead tattoos to see. My girlfriend stood outside the premiere and saw both Kelsey Grammer AND Dennis Leary. WOW! One thing to do if you get bored waiting in long lines at Harry Potter? Yell "Expeliarmus!" at that kid in the robes trying to urinate in the public restroom. Gets them everytime.

Food for $1.00

Call me old but I remember the day when lots of things only cost $1.00. Food, comics, strippers, you name it. $1.00. Not anymore. If you live in cities like Boston or Los Angeles or New Jersey you cannot get anything for a dollar these days.

Say what you will about New York City being ridiculously expensive and how high rent is or how expensive strippers are here. If you want to eat food and only have Abraham Lincoln in your pocket you can live like a king.

Note the $1.00 slice above. That's cool. But expected. Pizza can generally get away with being cheap. Now here's a good one on St. Marks:

Yep. A full falafel for a buck. And it's yummy. Then there's all the cheap hot dog stands where you can get a hot dog for a $1 and a soda for another. And pretzels! Those giant awesome pretzels are only $1 sometimes.

Plus there's that coffee that comes in the "We are happy to serve you" cups which you can get for a dollar anywhere unless you think yourself clever and want to own your own mug like that for $12 (follow the link hipster king).

In fact, I would go so far as to say that you can live off of $1.00 food that you buy off street vendors. I may even try it for a week. Maybe. Probably not. It's still cool though. I like hot dogs.

NYU girls make art via deadly dating games

Special thanks to our guest blogger David Perrin for this expose on dating habits and art in Greenwich Village:

Warning: do not read on if you like looking at college girls/art

The other day I was shocked and offended while eavesdropping on an NYU girl's cellphone conversation. I learned that summer-school teens have unleashed their wiles on unsuspecting twenty and thirty-something men all over lower Manhattan leading to sexual bloodshed and mayhem.

These girls lure unsuspecting guys past NYU Security and to their rooms where they get naked. As the guy nervously struggles out of his Calvins they stab him, flay his dermis and mount him. Meaning they spike his head on a stick.
The heads are then displayed on Broadway for the entire NYU community to enjoy. Whoever gets the most head by the end of the semester wins.
Many you will be upset to look at this picture directly above. Yes, that is Ian on the floor, and Lodro lying next two him. Their two heads rolled on the same night. Except they didn't even get sticked. The girls found their intestines more interesting. I don't know who the other guy is. Does anybody recognize him?

See the mayhem/art yourself on Broadway and E. 10th St.

Farrell's Bar & Grill

As the great sage peter d said of Farrell's, "This is not a first date bar. You're better off going with the crowd of mouth-breathing cretins you call friends." A fine way to think of the local cops and firemen that frequent this establishment peter d! Cheese whiz, have some respect. Speaking of respect is the term firemen sexist these days? Should I say firepeople? I will just call them stewardesses.

Farrell's is best known for its 32 ounce styrofoam cups filled with Budweiser (pictured above, clearly as big as my friends' faces). You can obtain such a cup yourself for $5. If you are a math genius or just clicked the link posted before then you will realize that after $20 and four rounds you will have drank a gallon of beer. A gallon! Can't finish that last cup? Ask them to put a lid on it and take it to go. Gotta love take out in New York City.

Farrell's is also known for its total lack of female patrons. It was a male only bar until the 1970s but this woman put the kibosh on that. Still, I think good old Shirley was the last woman in this place.

If you love drinking copious amounts of beer while feeling restrained because there's cops everywhere and hate looking at women then go to Farrell's Bar & Grill. Just don't ask for a food menu. Despite their name they don't serve food. Really.