NYiR is such a Samantha

The second Sex and the City movie launches in exactly 60 days and boy are we here at the New York is Ridiculous office excited. And by excited we mean for the vacation the entire staff will take to avoid the ridiculous upsurge of middle-aged women sipping on martinis, talking about shoes and making eyes at us. If the first movie taught us anything it's that SATC magnetizes women who refuse to age gracefully to our fair city.

Due to the recent beating Sarah Jessica Parker took on South Park I will back off the "ladies" themselves and simply offer this link to an article about how some hotels and clubs are trying to cash in on the action. Enjoy! While you read that we'll be looking into rentals in the countryside.

photo courtesy of nydailynews.com

I guess this week it's New York Kids are Ridiculous

Yep, let's call a spade a spade. It's ridiculous kids week at NYiR. Here's a great article about kids landing your planes at JFK. Apparently employees at the Kennedy Airport air-traffic control tower are now under federal investigation for allowing some kid on spring break to give directions to pilots. Geez kid, was Daytona closed?

In other news, I clearly don't know where kids go for spring break these days.

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

We apologize for being gone oh so long. New York is Ridiculous returns full-speed ahead on Monday. In the meantime go make a snow angel (seriously this blizzard isht is cray-cray)

photo courtesy of look at this fucking hipster

I was gone but now I'm back

Dear Fan (singular),

So sorry I was gone this week but I had to cover all of the ridiculous things in Halifax, Nova Scotia (Canada you idjit). After hours of in-depth research I found the best and most important news article this week from Halifax and have displayed it above. No joke, this gem is from the front page of the local paper. You're welcome and I promise there will be lots and lots of New York City ridiculous things posted this week.

Yours,

Lodro

Everyone reads on the subway!

'Nuff said. Unless you love statistics in which case click here to learn allll about how the New York Times polled their readership and found out that the number one newspaper New York Times subscribers read on the subway is

(drum roll please)

...the New York Times. Ta-daaaaa

Anna Wintour will run for mayor

Over 700 clothing stores, designers, and hot dog vendors stayed open late last Thursday to celebrate Fashions Night Out, a new brainstorm from the lady who secretly runs this city, Fro Yo. Oh, sorry, I mean Anna Wintour. Most to all of these stores had free alcoholic treats for fashion-lovers and mooches such as myself. Because of the free booze and super mega sales it attracted massive crowds (see my official Fashions Night Out pic above).

According to the NY Daily Post good ol' Anna Wintour had Cynthia Rowley making jell-o shots and Oscar de la Renta singing to crowds in his own store all because she has Mayor Bloomberg by the balls. While he wanted to say "no" to this take over the city event he knew he would be run out of NYC. By me. Because I love going door to door like a 26-year-old trick-or-treater getting free booze. While waiting for the tardy twelve-term mayor Wintour was overhead saying, "“If he doesn't show, Diane [von Furstenberg] and I will run for mayor on a joint ticket and take over the city.”

If that means people getting all decked out in fashion's finest and turning all clothing stores into free champagne-flooded clubs she has NYiR's official endorsement.

In other news I'm on vacay so don't be bummed if I don't post 32534957 times this week. I'll be back next week. See you after I climb Mt. Awesome and ask the old man at the top why New York is so ridic. He'll probs be like, "Cause your blog reports it and thus it becomes reality" or some shiz.

Long Island

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Long Island Wants to Secede
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Jason Jones in Iran

Big news: Long Island finally wants to succeed at something. Wait, what's that? Oh, they want to secede. Well, that's big news too.

Now I have to admit as a newbie in New York City I haven't entirely pieced together what Long Island is. I think part of it exists at Libation, part of it exists in Italian men in a super tight v-necks, and the rests exists in a land of ridicule created by New Yorkers. Is that right? According to the video above though they seem to be the dicks of NYC and want to beat up New Jersey or Ireland, whichever is closer.

I don't have many Italian man friends in super tight v-necks so in order to explore Long Island I went to Libation one night with my friend Ian (hi Ian! thanks for taking care of my dog!). We met some young ladies who admitted to being "bridge and tunnel" girls. At first I thought that was a sexual thing but since they were all 24 and married I assumed it refers to their eating habits or something.

I'll leave you with a koan: why is Long Island undesirable to live in yet a desirable location to vacation? Someone has to explain that to me. I just don't get you Long Island. Good luck on secession, assuming you exist.